Hiatus
Six years ago was the last time I wrote here. It’s been interesting reading my past posts. Being transported to a time in my past. I’m actually glad I documented some things. Sad that I didn’t continue. And I think that’s why I’m returning.
A few nights ago, J walked out of his bedroom and into the family room to say that he was scared of dying. D and I looked at each other in shock. A couple of months ago, a baby had passed away at his daycare from SIDS. Last week, there was a flyer from the daycare that asked whether we wanted to have our child participate in the Celebration of Life for this child. I didn’t think much of it and so gave my permission. The daycare teachers were prepping the kids and read book about death. The Celebration occurred last Friday and when I picked up J from daycare, he talked about it and didn’t seem distressed. But now I think he’s processing it a bit more. The day after him coming out, I picked him up from daycare and asked him why he was scared of dying. We talked a bit more but then he said it was too sad and didn’t want to talk anymore. I spoke to Teacher M about the books that were read and she gave me a copy. J said one book was about the mom passing away. When D and I read the book.. it didn’t necessarily talk about a particular person passing and believe that J is interpreting it as the mom. On another car ride home, J asked me if I was going to be here for a long time. I told him I’ll try to be here as long as he needs me. This is going to be a hard thing to explain to a lil one. In addition to the baby passing and then hearing the radio talk about the Parkland Florida shootings with kids... it’s not an easy topic.
Kids, work, life got busy.
Right now it’s 10:30pm and my J isn’t falling asleep. He wants someone to sleep next to him. Deep down I don’t mind. He’s not going to be this lil when he wants his mom sleeping next to him. Needing me. I know in the future that I’ll miss these moments. His lil fingers squeezing my neck gently. Those lil fingers.
A few nights ago, J walked out of his bedroom and into the family room to say that he was scared of dying. D and I looked at each other in shock. A couple of months ago, a baby had passed away at his daycare from SIDS. Last week, there was a flyer from the daycare that asked whether we wanted to have our child participate in the Celebration of Life for this child. I didn’t think much of it and so gave my permission. The daycare teachers were prepping the kids and read book about death. The Celebration occurred last Friday and when I picked up J from daycare, he talked about it and didn’t seem distressed. But now I think he’s processing it a bit more. The day after him coming out, I picked him up from daycare and asked him why he was scared of dying. We talked a bit more but then he said it was too sad and didn’t want to talk anymore. I spoke to Teacher M about the books that were read and she gave me a copy. J said one book was about the mom passing away. When D and I read the book.. it didn’t necessarily talk about a particular person passing and believe that J is interpreting it as the mom. On another car ride home, J asked me if I was going to be here for a long time. I told him I’ll try to be here as long as he needs me. This is going to be a hard thing to explain to a lil one. In addition to the baby passing and then hearing the radio talk about the Parkland Florida shootings with kids... it’s not an easy topic.
posted by Lu at 10:59 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home