Box of Chocolates
I got my new apartment! Yea!! Very excited. I just need to drop off my deposit soon to hold the place. The minute I heard.. I was at the bookstore looking for decorating magazines. I can't wait to go shopping! My wallet is gonna feel it badly! eek. But, I'm thinking if things go well with Dan and I... this will just be buying furniture for our new place since we basically have the same sense of style. And if things don't go well with us... well, I'll still like what I got.
I scheduled to make an appointment to see a therapist. The thing that I think is absurb is that based on a sliding scale.. I'll have to pay $60/session... although they give you an option of filling out this 'abatement form' which could lower how much it is. Now, if it's $60 for a licensed professional that's one thing.. but I'll be seeing a grad student. Unbelievable. I think I'm just going to go for the first session.. only $25. See how much I would have to pay after the abatement stuff kicks in. And if it's completely ridiculous then I'll go through my insurance. How insane!
I'm concerned how things are going with Dan and I. I guess I can see where Dan is coming from with the whole my family's influence would influence me...and then eventually will influence him. I can't deny that its happened a few times. The status I'm at right now is that I do have a responsiblity with both my family and Dan... I do have a tendency to side with my family because they were there before Dan arrived and they will probably be there my entire life. That's not saying that my top priority will change once Dan is my husband. Being my husband, my responsibility to making both of us happy is top priority. I guess I can see how Dan is reluctant to see that he would eventually be top priority. I've kicked him too many times when he's down. And it's not like habits just change in a blink of an eye. This is going to be a process. In the meantime, I hope Dan decides if I'm worth all of this... and how much he truly loves me. He used to only picture a life with me...and now he could picture one without me. Kinda heartbreaking. But with all of this going around, I have to picture it in those two views too... and put myself as top priority. I can definitely say that one phone call from Joyce just made me so excited. That's a good sign.
I think I've been dwelling on this topic way too long. Nothing can happen when you just talk in circles. So I'm promising myself not to talk about this anymore.
I scheduled to make an appointment to see a therapist. The thing that I think is absurb is that based on a sliding scale.. I'll have to pay $60/session... although they give you an option of filling out this 'abatement form' which could lower how much it is. Now, if it's $60 for a licensed professional that's one thing.. but I'll be seeing a grad student. Unbelievable. I think I'm just going to go for the first session.. only $25. See how much I would have to pay after the abatement stuff kicks in. And if it's completely ridiculous then I'll go through my insurance. How insane!
I'm concerned how things are going with Dan and I. I guess I can see where Dan is coming from with the whole my family's influence would influence me...and then eventually will influence him. I can't deny that its happened a few times. The status I'm at right now is that I do have a responsiblity with both my family and Dan... I do have a tendency to side with my family because they were there before Dan arrived and they will probably be there my entire life. That's not saying that my top priority will change once Dan is my husband. Being my husband, my responsibility to making both of us happy is top priority. I guess I can see how Dan is reluctant to see that he would eventually be top priority. I've kicked him too many times when he's down. And it's not like habits just change in a blink of an eye. This is going to be a process. In the meantime, I hope Dan decides if I'm worth all of this... and how much he truly loves me. He used to only picture a life with me...and now he could picture one without me. Kinda heartbreaking. But with all of this going around, I have to picture it in those two views too... and put myself as top priority. I can definitely say that one phone call from Joyce just made me so excited. That's a good sign.
I think I've been dwelling on this topic way too long. Nothing can happen when you just talk in circles. So I'm promising myself not to talk about this anymore.
posted by Lu at 10:17 AM
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