Bright Idea
I already know I will get no sleep tonite.
But I need to write down the best way to start my conversation with Ba. I'll just have to ask him what type of person he sees me as. How he views me. Whatever he's dead on with.. good..maybe he does know his own daughter. But whatever is wrong .. I'll have to correct him (which I know will be a long conversation)..But will hit everything that is essential like what type of Catholic I am, how I view dating (that freakin' book he handed to me needs to go. Freakin' Dr. Phil. Unfuckingbelievable)..maybe I think it's a good idea that if I ever get engaged to actually move in with the guy first before the wedding (hm. have to reanalyze whether I want to bring that topic up..might be too soon.. don't need a heartattack right away)...who I picture myself with and why that would be a better match for me than anything he believes me to be with.
Geez. To think that when my mom and dad were sitting across the table from dan and I... and my dad was saying to dan all the things he pictured his daughter being with... of course, it wouldn't be right to say it right then and there... but later on I should have told him what I want and need is everything that dan is.
What other topics could spur from that question... well, what type of wedding I picture for Dan and I (even though that might be a distant dream)... I'll have to tell him maybe I don't picture a church wedding for myself..maybe I don't want Ba and Me to invite all their friends who I absolutely have no clue who they are (yes. that's an asian thing. Parent's friends do give lots of cash..that the only good thing)... but why would I want them at my wedding.. who the hell are you?! Well, maybe I won't go into too much logistics on this topic..since I have no idea where Dan is at with 'us'.
And then everything can cumulate to me having to move out.
Well, right now that's the bright idea. Lets see if it holds just as bright in the morning.
I know this conversation won't be end of all problems. But it's a start. At least now maybe Ba will know more who I am. Will respect the person I am and the decision I make... and if he doesn't. If it comes to Ba and Me not wanting to associate with me... I think I'll be fine with it. It'll suck. I'll be sad. I might have to live like this for many years.. but who knows maybe my worst fears won't actually materialize. blah. does everyone have to go through this stage in their life?
But I need to write down the best way to start my conversation with Ba. I'll just have to ask him what type of person he sees me as. How he views me. Whatever he's dead on with.. good..maybe he does know his own daughter. But whatever is wrong .. I'll have to correct him (which I know will be a long conversation)..But will hit everything that is essential like what type of Catholic I am, how I view dating (that freakin' book he handed to me needs to go. Freakin' Dr. Phil. Unfuckingbelievable)..maybe I think it's a good idea that if I ever get engaged to actually move in with the guy first before the wedding (hm. have to reanalyze whether I want to bring that topic up..might be too soon.. don't need a heartattack right away)...who I picture myself with and why that would be a better match for me than anything he believes me to be with.
Geez. To think that when my mom and dad were sitting across the table from dan and I... and my dad was saying to dan all the things he pictured his daughter being with... of course, it wouldn't be right to say it right then and there... but later on I should have told him what I want and need is everything that dan is.
What other topics could spur from that question... well, what type of wedding I picture for Dan and I (even though that might be a distant dream)... I'll have to tell him maybe I don't picture a church wedding for myself..maybe I don't want Ba and Me to invite all their friends who I absolutely have no clue who they are (yes. that's an asian thing. Parent's friends do give lots of cash..that the only good thing)... but why would I want them at my wedding.. who the hell are you?! Well, maybe I won't go into too much logistics on this topic..since I have no idea where Dan is at with 'us'.
And then everything can cumulate to me having to move out.
Well, right now that's the bright idea. Lets see if it holds just as bright in the morning.
I know this conversation won't be end of all problems. But it's a start. At least now maybe Ba will know more who I am. Will respect the person I am and the decision I make... and if he doesn't. If it comes to Ba and Me not wanting to associate with me... I think I'll be fine with it. It'll suck. I'll be sad. I might have to live like this for many years.. but who knows maybe my worst fears won't actually materialize. blah. does everyone have to go through this stage in their life?
posted by Lu at 2:33 AM
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