Meant to Be

I still can't stop crying. I can't help still feeling sad and angry.

I can't believe I don't have one single family member just happy to know that I found someone that I could see myself with forever. Not one person that is supportive if he and I got engaged. Actually, I take that back. Maybe my mom is somewhat there for me...but she has her doubts. Just like his mom has his doubts about me and my family.

And although I know my family is just looking out for my best interest and protecting me, I just can't help thinking that they just haven't sat down and tried to be a lil understanding. They keep thinking I'm blinded by love and don't see the obstacles. My last conversation with my dad... he said "I'd bring up ten different issues about him. And you'll protect him on all ten. No one's perfect. Everyone has flaws." I told him I know no one is perfect. But when his thought process is set in one way...of course, I'm going to be on a defense. He has no idea what's going on.

I really am angered by Nga. That conversation with her really irked me. She keeps saying she doesn't have much interaction with him...yet, she doesn't even try to make time to ask if him and I have free time to do things with her. Then again, the closest thing that I've done to that is ask her and Huong to some of the events that I host. And they do make time to go. I do give them that.

oy. Things are such in the gray area it all just sucks.

Sometimes I do hate seeing both sides of the story. Trying to understand where everyone is coming from. I think that's what makes it hard for me to stand up and truly know what I want in the end. I just have a tendency to put everything out there and not using my own discretion. *sigh* what's going to be good for me?